Ways To Annoy Me

Whistle Turkey in the Straw one more fucking time.

Tell me another Down-Home-Albertan-Rodeo story.

Play a bloody banjo outside my window all fucking night long, whilst chugging beer and yelling surly comments to passers by.

Don't tell me there is something in my teeth so I walk around smiling red pepper all day.

Tell me to stop walking like an old lady. I'll stop walking like an old lady when you stop looking like God took a crap on your face.

Inform me that instead of taking me to dinner and a movie, as planned, we are now going to a bbq / moving party with your friends. If I've been up since 6 am working with a socially retarded group of cock-suckers all day, the last fucking thing I want to do is sit around listening to That Guy spew drivel from his fool fucking mouth. I don't give a FUCK about Derrida... WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!?

Tell me I seem grumpy today. I SWEAR TO CHRIST I WILL STICK THAT FUCKING BANANA SO FAR UP YOUR OLD WRINKLED CUNT YOU'LL BE BURPING FRUIT JUICE.