10 secrets

Some of these aren't really secrets, because I'm not really the secret having type, but here it is.

1. I hate it when people call me "Chels". I don't like my name being abbreviated, but I never know how to tell people that without sounding like a bitch.

2. I lost my virginity in a room with no door, with someone's little sister in the next room and my mum coming to pick me up in 10 minutes. I only did it because a lot of my friends had done it and I felt left out.

3. The longest I have gone without pooping is 13 days. The after effects were not pretty.

4. The first 2 times I got my period I had no idea what was happening. I was like "oh shit, my butt is bleeding" even though we learned all that shit in school. I just somehow never figured it would happen to ME.

5. I once found a trap door in the book-closet of my old elementary school that led to tunnels winding beneath the whole school. A friend and I would sneak down there during recess and sit by the grates that led outside. Whenever kindergartners would pass, we would make horrible monster-like noises at them (Grrarrrwe-are-coming-to-eat-your-familywrrarrg). I think I'm responsible for a lot of child psycho-therapy.

6. One time my sister told me she thought I might be a lesbian and I should just come out already. I cried and ran away for a day. I was 10.

7. I'm actually pretty proud of my boobs. I think they're great.

8. There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

9. I just farted... at work!

10. Now I'm going to poo... at work! Yessss!