Hos: the same in every area code

Tuesday night Jonathan and I went to see the Chromeo DJ set. Which was rad.

As we sat through the opening act (a dj with no idea how to dj) we played one of our favorite games... People Watching.

We had a prime seat close to the washrooms; a high traffic area in any nightclub as everyone visits the washroom, be it to actually GO to the washroom, or just to snort coke/check makeup/have dirty bathroom sex.

The usual parade of girls, all dressed alike in their miniscule outfits and too high heels, flounced past us in small clusters and we began to notice a strange phenomenon.

Apparently, it is IMPOSSIBLE for a group of girls to leave the washroom and rejoin the dancefloor without performing the ritual Ho salute. It goes something like this...

1. Form a long line when exiting the bathroom, holding the hand of the girls both in front of and behind you (a la grade 1). No ho left behind!

2. Shuffle your feet whilst walking in said line and utter a piercing "woooooooooooo!" swaying your hips back and forth (not neccessarilly in time to the music, more to attract the attentions of the male of the species).

3. (And this is VERY important) As soon as you come close to the dance floor, throw one hand in the air, prefferably in some sort of gun shape, and wave in up in down. Meld into other dancers, hopefully pushing your posterior against the crotch of an attractive (or whatever) man in passing.

Should the hand-in-the-air-waving-like-you-don't-care move prove difficult, see any rap video for further instructions.

I must say, I felt QUITE the fool, exiting the washroom on my own, and you can be sure I slinked foolishly back to my seat fervently wishing I was one of a group of hos, just like EVERY OTHER girl there. But alas, I had to be an individual. How common.