Fighting people all over the city

Should you be unfortunate enough to know me, you probably know that I am not the type to lose my temper. I may get worked into a minor tizz sometime, but it's always short lived and mild.
You will also know that I am one of the least likely people to get into a shouting match with a complete stranger on the bus... yet this is exactly what I found myself doing last night.

I'd just spent a lovely afternoon with my friend Nilly, having my final wedding dress fitting, and was feeling happy, beautiful... and STRONG. You know that empowered feeling you get when you know you are looking good? You feel smart, confident, ready to take on the world... or, should the world be unavailable, at least some little piss-ant on the bus.

So when Nilly and I got on the 99 B Line, there to encounter just such an individual, I thought "I do NOT have to take this... OH NO! I DO NOT!"

We sat ourselves down on the back bench of the bus, I beside the window, Nilly next to me, a faceless stranger next to Nilly, and two Wanna-Be Gansta Fools (WBGFs) next to the faceless stranger. WBGF #1 had his cell phone glued to his ear (into which he was pouring a ceaseless stream of expletives) and a laptop on his lap was issuing forth music of much the same content.

You know those signs on the bus saying "You're not the only person on the bus, young man, so turn off your darn music and mind your p's and q's"? He is precisely the sort those signs are aimed at.

After a few blocks of this, his phone "conversation" (I am inclined to think he wasn't even talking to anyone... ) had degenerated into a miasma of cursing and threats so base as to make even the most hardened youth on the bus raise their pierced eyebrows in wonder. Nilly and I did the same.

A woman sitting a couple of seats away with a small child on her lap hastily covered the youngster's ears, looking worriedly at the redoubtable "thug".

I could stand it no longer.

Standing up and leaning towards him I shouted,

"Get off the phone, turn your music down, AND WATCH YOUR FILTHY LANGUAGE! There are children on the bus!"

I refrained from throwing in a couple of choice insults of my own, much as I wanted to, as this probably would have come hypocritical...

He looked at me, mouth agape, as though no one had ever taken a firm hand with him in his life, as I'm sure they hadn't. He didn't appear to like it.

Everyone else did though, and I sat down with adrenaline coursing through my veins amidst smiles of encouragement and thanks.

WBGF #1 closed his computer, scowling, and said "Hey, I AM sorry that there were kids around, didn't see them (they were sitting directly in front of him) but you don't have to yell at me like a C-U-N-*! Kids can't spell, but you know what I mean by that, you stupid C-U-N-*."

The child in questoin was probably 6 or 7, and if he was anything like I was at 6 or 7 could probably spell a four letter word.

I smiled blandly at WBGF as he continued his tirade at me, slipping again into foul language as my silence fanned the flames of his anger.

Finally, after telling his friend (WBGF #2) that he was going to cuss me out if we got off at the same bus stop (isn't that what he'd been doing this whole time anyway?) I laughed and said "Go for it, buddy."

His eyes bulged as he yelled "I will! I'm gonna punch you in your stupid cun* face, you stupid bitch. You just get into other peoples f---ing business 'cuz you're so sad and lonely 'cuz no one will ever stick it in you, you stupid fat ugly cun*"

I laughed gaily and replied "I'm getting married in two months. Have you ever even HAD a girlfriend?"

"I've got tons of f---ing girlfriends you stupid cun* (his favorite word). You're just jealous, and I feel sorry for your f---ing boyfriend for having to live with such an ugly f---ing bitch his life."

"You realise you are making yourself look like a fool, don't you? No one on this bus thinks you are tough. You sound like an idiot, and you only use swear words to bolster your limited grasp on the English language."

He subsided into his seat, no doubt wondering what on earth I had just said, and mumbed more curses and threats in my general direction. Nilly clutched my arms half giggling half wanting me to shut the hell up.

"I am NOT going to leave you when we get off the bus. That guy wants to beat you up!" she hissed in my ear.

I snorted, unafraid, and highly doubting WBGF's ability to beat up a small child, let alone a woman brimming with ire.

The next stop was ours, and as luck would have it, we DID exit the bus with the Wanna-Be Gangsta Fools. Out on the street I glared at him and said "O.k. here we are, are you gonna punch me in the face?"

He turned a lovely shade of mauve and wittily countered "You've got shoulders like a f---ing quarter back, you f---ing dyke." whilst he shuffled backwards away from me.

"That's it?" I yelled.

"Stupid f---ing quarter back! Go home to your f---ing dyke boyfriend, you f---ing cun*!" he called, ceaselessly, until he turned a corner out of sight.

Nilly left me then with a hug, while the woman with the small child got off the bus to thank me.

I was left to run all the way home, the only outlet I was likely to get for the litres of adrenaline coursing through me.

Though I knew the WBGF was all talk and would never really hurt me, still, it had pumped me up, talking back to him, and had he come at me, fists flying, I would have stood my ground and given him a fist full of business right back.

I can't stand jerks like that.